Saving me from Myself
by little-miss-twilighter
Summary: After a terrible accident, Bella calls the one person she knows will understand and help her. Jasper/Bella lemon warning, post BD, all vampire. Entry for the love of Jasper contest.


"**For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest **

**Title: Saving me from myself**

**Pen name: little-miss-twilighter  
**

**Existing work: N/A**

**Primary Players: Jasper and Bella**

**Disclaimer: I dont own any of these characters but if I did, I would make them do much naughtier things than SM did ;) **

**To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/For_the_Love_of_Jasper_Contest/72564/  
**

**Thanksies to DripDripDrip for beta-ing this for me =)**

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Bella's POV  
_Jasper's POV _

I waved goodbye to Jasper before turning to Renesmee, perched on Alice's lap. I bent down to kiss her on the head,

"See you later sweetie, I'll be back before bedtime."

She smiled her most Edwardy smile and touched my face; telling me she loved me.

"I love you too. Have fun with Alice."

Charlie had rung 10 minutes ago; he said he needed to discuss something important with me. I told him that I would be there as soon as I could. In keeping with this promise, I took my rarely used Ferrari rather than the Volvo. The car roared to life and I sped off to Charlie's.

He must have heard the car coming down the road because when I pulled up outside my old house, Charlie was already outside. The moment I stepped out of the car, his scent hit me just as it did every time we met. My throat burst into flames and I tensed my muscles slightly while holding my breath. Charlie didn't notice though, he was too busy focusing on the car.

"Bells? How long have you had _that_?"

I shrugged; not wanting to talk until it was absolutely necessary. My car really didn't seem like that much to me and I was sure I would never understand the male obsession with anything that had wheels. I saw it as a fast red car that made everyone within a 3 mile radius stare at me whereas from the look in Charlie's eyes, he saw it as a God. He looked as though he still wanted an answer. I sighed mentally and spoke again, his scent burning my nose.

"I've had it for a while actually, I just prefer the Volvo; doesn't draw as much attention"

Pulling his attention away from the car, he turned to give me a look that clearly said 'I think you're insane'

"Anyway, you gonna come in or just stand outside?"

I smiled and followed him into the living room. My muscles tensed even tighter, the house was full of his scent; it made it all that much harder to be in the same room. I was distracted momentarily though when I walked in; I was slightly confused. It was like the time I was human and spent the night at the Cullen's. Edward had rearranged the furniture and I wasn't sure if it was the same room. I was experiencing déjà vu. Charlie's living room had definitely been rearranged; new things had been added. He saw my look of confusion and smiled.

"Sue did it. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it makes it look more...homey."

He smiled again. It was odd, I couldn't remember Charlie ever smiling this much.

Whatever he wanted to tell me, it was good. He gestured for me to sit down on the sofa before offering me a drink. I shook my head.

"Well Bella, I think it would be best for me just to get it out of the way..."

"Go on," I urged.

He came and sat down next to me, alerting all of my senses to his close proximity. I could _see _the blood beneath the thin layer of skin, I could _hear _it lapping in his veins and the smell was almost too much to bear. I stopped breathing again.

"I'm going to ask Sue to marry me, but I wanted to check if it would be okay with you."

I blinked. I knew that there was something go on between them but marriage? Wow. He must really love her. I grinned and hugged him close to me, ignoring the temptation of his blood.

"Of course it's okay with me dad. I'm so happy for you."

Charlie's whole expression was one of pure delight. He looked so excited it made me smile even wider.

"I'm going to ask her tonight at dinner. I even bought new china especially! Look, come and see. I need you to make sure everything's OK."

I laughed at the tone of his voice. He was so carefree, laidback and was practically bouncing with joy. I had never seen him this happy before. It was wonderful. He leapt up and ran into the kitchen. I stood in the doorway as he reached onto the top shelf to show me this china. He picked up a pile of plates but dropped them in his haste.

"Oh crap!"

I went over to help him pick them up but when I was halfway across the room, he cut his finger on one of the shards.

"Ow! It's bleeding, just perfect."

I knew he was bleeding before he said the word. My whole point of meaning shifted. The scent that I could just about handle was now overpowering, intoxicating and I couldn't think around entire focus was now on the fresh blood that was flowing out of the cut- taunting me. I now understood what it must have been like for Jasper at my fateful birthday party. There was no way to resist this. Edward, Renesmee, neither one mattered in this second. Completely overwhelmed and no longer in control of my actions, a snarl ripped its way up my throat and I lunged towards my target; not missing the fear that exploded in his eyes before my teeth ripped through him.

The skin ripped willingly beneath my teeth as did the muscle and fat. I reached the vein and lapped up the blood, draining him completely. It ran down my throat, soothing the burning and aching. It tasted a thousand times better than I could ever have imagined. I could feel its warmth flooding my body and I wanted more. I never wanted to stop. In both my human and vampire lives, I had never experienced something that brought me so much joy. Nothing on earth compared to this. Now that I had experienced the pure euphoria that drinking human blood brought to me, I couldn't imagine hunting animals again.

Suddenly, his body was dry and I was briefly angered before the shock of what I did overwhelmed me. His cold body dropped to the floor and I stayed frozen. I felt sick, I wanted to throw up. I had _killed _my own father. I looked down at his lifeless body and found his still open eyes looking at mine. I cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground with him.

"I'm sorry dad. I'm so sorry."

My phone started to ring, drowning out my cries of agony. Barely glancing away from my dead father, I saw the caller ID was Edward.

"Bella! Alice just saw, I...I'm so sorry. I'm on my way."

"No!"

I managed to make myself coherent. I didn't want him to see me in this state. I was too disgusted with myself and didn't ever want Edward to see me like this.

"Edward _please _stay hunting. I don't want you to see me like this."

"Damn it Bella! I'm not leaving you alone!"

I tried to think of an alternative, there was no way Edward could come here but he was right, I needed someone. The answer struck me like a flash of lightning. Jasper. He was still at the house with Alice, he would understand.

"Call Jasper, Edward. Please, stay with everyone else." I took a deep breath, regretting what I was about to say, even though I knew it was the only way he would give me what I wanted.

"If you love me Edward, you will trust that Jasper can take care of me."

"Bella..."

I heard the pain in his voice and wanted to cry again, knowing that I caused it.

"Edward! Call Jasper. Please. For me..."

It was quite for a few seconds,

"If it's what you really want Bella. I'll call Jasper."

"Thank you Edward. Don't forget, I love you."

"And I you."

I had nothing to do but sit and wait for Jasper, the remorse and pain of my evil act washing over me, each time a new blow to my heart. I kept telling Charlie I was sorry, over and over again but no matter how many times I said it, it wouldn't change what I did. It wouldn't bring him back. That's when Jasper came in. I heard him gasp slightly and I looked up to see him standing over me, his golden eyes full of sympathy. Yes, I was right to get Edward to make him come here. He would understand, he would help me.

"Bella, I...I'll help you."

I ran into his arms, wanting to be comforted although what I deserved was hatred and scorn. I was wicked, evil. I sobbed tearlessly into his chest and he patted my back. Using his subtle gift, he made me calm. It helped a little.

"Thank you Jasper."

"No problem Bella. Do you want to go and sit down while I....take care of this?"

I inhaled sharply; he meant destroy the body. I nodded and ran into the living room. I couldn't help but think of only a short while ago when Charlie was telling me of his plans for future happiness. I held in a sob as I realised that I took it all away from him. I was a monster. Jasper came back after less than 10 minutes.

"It will look like he was attacked in a mugging gone wrong."

His voice was quiet, level. I nodded,

"Thank you."

I barely whispered but knew that he would hear. He pulled me onto his lap and held me while I cried. I was so glad that he was here. He was the only person in the world that would understand. I looked up and found him staring down at me. As I stared into his warm eyes, I realised how wonderful he really was. I was so glad that he was here with me, I needed him. Looking into the depths of his welcoming eyes, I could see he needed me too. I wanted to thank him, for all the times he had been there for me when I didn't even know it. Unconsciously, my hand reached up to stroke his face and he leant into my palm. My face moved closer to his and I smelled his sweet scent. It washed over me, providing the relief that I wanted. My fingers lightly traced the scars on his face and he shuddered beneath my touch. His lips moved closer to mine until we were millimetres apart from what we both wanted; what we both needed.

"Bella, are you sure?"

There was no hesitation, there needn't be.

"I'm as sure as you are."

"What about Edward? ...Alice?"

"They'll understand. We need this Jasper. I know you feel it too."

Before he could respond, I closed the short distance between us and pressed my lips gently to his. The instant we touched, I wanted more. His tongue ran along my bottom lip before sliding into my mouth. I returned the gesture and we both fought for control while my hands caressed his face and his tangled into my hair, holding me closer to him.

_She held herself against me while our tongues fought for dominance. I let her win; today I would let her have anything she wanted. My hands wound into her thick long hair and I held her as close against me as I could while hers stroked my face, leaving a trail of heat wherever they went. I gently pushed her down onto the small sofa, making sure that she would not be hurt. I knew that she was a vampire, that nothing could hurt her but I still had the urge to protect her, keep her safe. I wondered idly whether this was how Edward had felt when she was still human. My hands untangled themselves from her hair and slid under her top, travelling up her perfect body until they reached her bra. She moaned down my throat as I went underneath and took one of her breasts in my hand. I squeezed it gently, earning another moan of pleasure from Bella as her hands finished undoing my shirt. _

I trailed kisses from his mouth to his groin, savouring his taste. It was different than Edward but at the same time, they were identical. His hands continued massaging my breasts in new and incredible ways and I moaned into his chest and pushed myself against the hardness I could feel through his trousers. My top was on the floor and I felt his hand slither around my back to undo my bra strap, it slid down easily. I pulled him back down to me and while he kissed me with more passion than I had ever been kissed with before, I undid his trousers quickly (and I mean quickly) to leave him in nothing but his boxers. I giggled; they were covered in little cowboys.

_I cringed as she took off my jeans, remembering the joke present that Alice decided to get me last Christmas. I felt the humour from Bella and heard her beautiful laugh and I couldn't help but laugh as well. It was at times like this that I truly appreciated my gift. Once her adorably cute fit of giggles had passed, she undid her own trousers and I smiled at the sight of her in nothing but small lace panties. Just as I was about to slide them off for her, I sensed doubt and hesitation. I pulled away, not wanting to do anything she didn't want to do. _

He pulled away from me and the rejection stung. Why would he do that? He just confirmed my brief hesitation that I wasn't good enough for him.

"I'm sorry..."

I looked down at the floor, embarrassed by my own naivety. Maybe I wasn't that beautiful to any vampire apart from Edward. The thought made me want to cry. Jasper was by my side in an instant, his arm around me. He gently pulled my chin up so I had to look him in the face.

"What are you sorry for?"

I gulped. I was going to sound like such an idiot.

"For not being good enough for you..."

_I just stared at her, unable to comprehend what she meant. She was beautiful and perfect and if anything, __**I**__ wasn't good enough for__** her**_. _I stroked the side of her cheek but she pulled away. I couldn't let her believe that I didn't want her. I pulled her back, harder this time and pushed my lips to hers. I kissed her with a new found passion, showing her with my actions what my words could not express. I let my hands run down her stunning body and I took off her last item of clothing. I kissed her, making my way down to her now exposed intimate region but I didn't stop. I kept kissing her, pleasing her and making her moan in a way I had never heard before. I stroked her lightly and she growled under her breath. Smirking and taking it as an invitation, I thrusted one finger inside her and she moaned the loudest she had moaned so far. _

Jaspers finger inside me made my body squirm and writhe in ways I had never moved before. After only a few minutes, I couldn't hold it in anymore. Edward was amazing, he made me experience pleasure on a level I thought unreachable when I was human but Jasper- he made me feel things that I didn't think even a vampire could feel.

"Oh God Jasper, I need you! Please!"

His love assault on my body stopped and his face was above mine again. He moved down to my ear and nibbled on my lobe before whispering that he wanted me to do something for him first.

"Anything."

He threw his pants across the room and put my hand on his hardness. I answered him with a pinch and he hissed into my ear. Taking that as I was doing something right, I started stroking him, my fingers lightly dancing along his length while he moaned into my ear. He left kisses all along my collar bone and played with my breasts while my hand kept pleasing him. Both of us moved and moaned in response to each other and I could feel myself getting closer.

_I couldn't take it much more. Bella was doing what Alice always refused to do and I was overwhelmed with pleasure; mine and hers. Her hand was making me happy in ways I never thought were attainable and judging from her animal-like noises, she liked what I was doing as well. Unable to wait anymore, I shifted myself to her entrance and she moved her hands to my hair. Kissing her lips lightly, I pushed myself in. We both gasped momentarily, getting used to each other. Bella suddenly, started thrusting her hips, setting up a rhythm that was comfortable and I followed her. Her hands were all over me but it was never enough. I still wanted her more and we were both euphoric. Gasping and panting for air that we did not need, we both reached our climaxes at the same time. _

As I looked into Jaspers eyes for the thousandth time in 10 minutes, I saw something new. Fear. My stomach clenched and I threw my arms around his neck, with the horrible feeling something terrible was about to happen and I would have to let him go.

"Bella..."

"What is it Jasper? You can tell me."

I stroked his hair, soothing him, willing him to tell me. He said just three words. Three words that put everything into perspective. Three words that reminded me why we hadn't done this before. And why we could never do it again.

"Alice and Edward..."

I cringed. I knew this was coming but I didn't know how to respond. They would be heartbroken, angry, upset, betrayed....and heartbroken. I looked down at the floor,

"They will find out. Alice would have seen..."

Jasper's voice was filled with sadness and I put my arm back around him.

"Do you think they will..."

I trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud. That made it too real. We sat in the comfortable silence when it was suddenly ripped apart by the ringing of my phone. I flinched and took a deep breath, not looking at the caller ID. For one wild second, I imagined running with Jasper. We could run forever, be together forever. As quick as the thought entered my head, it was eradicated. Renesmee; I couldn't leave her. Edward, he was still my only reason for existing and to think that I had hurt him like this....the guilt crashed over me as I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella. I think you both need to come home..."

It was Carlisle, and his voice was full of the same sadness that Jasper's voice had been. I just closed the phone, there was no need to respond. I looked at Jasper and he looked at me, we both stood up at the same time and had one last, passionate kiss. My hands memorised his body, not ever wanting to forget. Once we were done, we both ran slowly, barely above human speed, and headed to face our loved ones.

As we approached the house and heard the heated arguments going on inside I was suddenly more scared and nervous than I had been all evening. Jasper, sensing my new found anxiety took my hand and squeezed it gently. I looked up and found him smiling down at me, care in his eyes. I smiled back and felt calm again. It wasn't just him using his gift either, it came from me. No matter what happened in the future, Jasper would always be there for me and I for him. What happened between us was not a mistake, there were no regrets and I wouldn't change it for the world.

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**Let me know what you thought. It was my first ever non-canon lemon so how'd I do? =)**


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